Journal Entry

Dearest Future Reader.

I think I’m in love or something.

After we dedicated the new academy house. I had to have some serious me time and my neighbor Mister Bubbles, seemed the perfect man for the job. I mean he has been there through this whole ordeal and I kind of owed him a little more than the pittance we paid for his work. I’ll skip all the details. You really don’t need to read that, but the next morning, he’d run away and I found him sleeping on the sun porch where we share coffee and talk. So, I put him to bed and watched over him. 

Periwinkle woke up curled around his pillow like a scared child, realizing that he was in his own bed, he was crying and he knew he was not alone. I am his Trulie again, Trulie’s scent like a pure white bar of soap, it my voice, Trulie’s voice whispering “Shush now. It’s going to be alright, my dear sweet man.” And it soothed him. He slid out of bed and noticed the darkness, asked the time, the date, how did he get into his bed and pajamas. I answered, “It’s Sunday about four in the morning. You slept all day. Captain White helped me move you, but I washed you and tucked you in myself. I’m obligated by gratitude” Dangled the ringing anklet locked to her leg. I’m yours until you take it off.” Periwinkle fumbled to find the key, I pointed to the tag on my collar and smirked. “I’m yours Mister Bubbles as long as you’ll have me.” He began to pace and flail and babble. “Um give me the key, now, please. I want you free to do and be and feel and go and whatever it is you want to do. Trulie I can’t do this. I worship you.” I kneeled at his feet. He cried “Please get up. Please.” Then he barked. “Get up dammit! Bitch get the fuck up!” I popped to attention like a trained solider. Eyes locked forward, back straight chin high. He reached for the key on my collar and he eyes dropped to the floor. Reflexively Periwinkle, swatted my ass as hard as he could muster. It almost sent me to my knees, I winced smiled and allowed a tear to fall from one eye. “Am I not your friend? Then allow me this intimacy with you just a few more hours. I promise it will be alright.” I followed him through the dark house to the kitchen, where he started making coffee. I went to sit on my favorite settee on the sun porch and waited. When he arrived and offered me a hand painted, flower motif china cup on a saucer. I remembered the story he told about it learning the form and smiled. “You’re an odd man”, I whispered. He’d been staring at the grain of one plank of the bamboo floor, leaning forward, and close enough that I could touch the crown of his head if I only raised a hand. He was listening intently to my voice, sopping up each word. The rug beneath my feet was warmer than it should be, in fact the floor of the entire sun room was heated. The music was soft, but everywhere. He designed it to encourage intimate conversations. Peri explained everything to me through the whole process of bringing this moment to reality. Three years that felt like a lifetime, I’d often watch him slowly moving about the house in his tank top and tool belt. Busy working on this or that, hours after the tradesmen left, he would work.

. “I have a confession Periwinkle, I have never loved another being the way I love you.” I blushed and fought not to drop my gaze. I was not in role play mode at the moment. I’m afraid of making love with you. Trust me, I’ll fuck your brains out, but I don’t know about this sharing spirits and mind shit is spooky. You know?” He looked away, wringing his hands in that cute little way he does when I know I got him, but I didn’t want him like that, it felt unfair, manipulative, and seductive and I don’t need to seduce him. He’s already mine and has been willingly since the day we met. He said, “Tell you what, we’ll go to your place or somewhere neutral and fuck ‘til your heart’s content, but when you’re in my house and my bed, no collars, no bells, no toys, no pain. You let me love you as I see you. Then one day, maybe, I hope, we’ll be able to make love with each other. Does that sound like what friends do for each other?” I agreed with a pinkie swear. We cuddled and fucked and giggled, screwed and played until I whispered “Enough! Please. Thank you”.  He got up to go home and I stopped him, pulling him back next to me on pallet of blankets we crumpled on the floor around us. “Hold me please, don’t go. We feel nice together.” He slept in my arms, like a man that hasn’t slept for years. When he woke up, he fucked me until my thighs felt like I’d been riding a horse. I finally threw him off of me and sucked out of him, the loudest moan I’d ever heard. When I was done for the moment, I let him go back to his workshop. I didn’t see him for almost a week, but every time I thought or heard his name I got the after pee chills. I feel so cute, I’ve never missed anyone the way I miss him now.